The 15 Minute Date

This guy actually started out pretty promising!  Here was his 1st email to me:

(blue = boy; pink = girl, black = my thoughts)

I noticed you were looking for some specifics in your profile and just thought I should get back to you.

1. Active and adventurous in spirit? Check!
2. Open, honest, fun, open to doing new things? Check!
3. Funny, intelligent, like the outdoors (not too crunchy)? Check!
4. Supportive, motivated, good listener, a get-up-and-go person? Check!
5. Someone who can plan, take care of someone every now and then? Check!
(also – I’m completely open to your requirement to having a Jewish home)

I have 43 things I am looking for in a parter. Someone who is adventurous is pretty high on my list and your charity bike ride sounds like a real adventure.

Would you be willing to complete my application? ;P

Wow!  First of all, he actually read my profile! (Just as an FYI, I didn’t list out all the items like that in my profile, but he combed through my essay and picked them out).  Big points there.  And, he seemed to meet what I’m looking for!

I was so excited when I got his email, that I actually IM’d him back instead of emailing.  I don’t think I’ve ever done that actually.  I really wished I kept a copy of the IM session, but here’s the gist:

Thanks so much for writing and taking the time to read through my profile! 

You’re welcome!

So, you are looking for 43 things in a woman? (I sort of assumed he was kidding about there actually being 43).  What are your top 3?

1. Someone caringNon-sensible shoes

2. Someone with a sense of style

3. Someone who likes to travel

Someone with a sense of style?  What do you mean by that?

I like women who like to be fashionable.  For example women who wear non-sensible shoes.

Really? Really, meaning “this is in your top 3 things”??  But, IM is tough, and it’s possible he’s being sarcastic.  I really didn’t know what the deal was!  But, still… potential Bad Sign #1

The rest of the conversation was totally normal, and we made plans to meet. I really prefer coffee or a drink as a first date, to minimize the time spent if it’s not right. And, I find that most guys do too, especially since they’re usually the ones paying.  But, he suggested dinner, so I said OK!

I showed up, and he was already sitting at the table.  He didn’t stand up to greet me, or even shake my hand.  Bad sign #2.  Then for the next 10 minutes, I sat there sweating because I had just walked from home and was still hot. He made no effort to get the waitress for me to order a drink (he had gotten there early, so already had a drink and a water). Bad sign #3.  During that 10 minutes, and after my drink finally came, the conversation was a total strain.

How is your week going so far?  Good. Did you do anything exciting?  Not really.

Have you been here before? No. Do you come to Brookline much? Sometimes.

He was just VERY awkward, and seemed like he was missing some social skills, including his bizarre stare. I was really dreading the next hour-plus that I’d be sitting there eating dinner with this guy. And, decided to do something I’ve never done before. I ended the date before we even ordered the food!

I decided that I’d rather do it quickly, rather than waste both of our time and money.

I know this is going to sound bad, but I know myself really well, and I just don’t see that we’re a good fit. And I don’t want to waste your time or money. So, I’d prefer to just end the date now.  

I put down $5 for the soda and left.

Poor guy. I know it must have sucked to hear that.  But, my guess is he was probably feeling the same thing.  And, hopefully was happy to know now, instead of after paying $50 for dinner, and wasting an evening.

What do you think of my decision to leave the date? Have you ever done that?  Or had that done to you?

Skype, the Newest Online Dating Site

Hello Dear,

How are you today..I am “Henry” I live in liverpool, presently on a short business trip to Africa,I was once married but divorced no kids… so a friend of mine introduce me to this site,{skype} i am new in the site….am here to seek for a soul mate someone who is caring, honest.. God fearing and lovely that will be a friend and soul mate to me ….await your urgent responds or email at {email address} ; thanks once again…..You can drop me your personal email address so i can email you more about myself.

skype logo

Ha ha, who knew that I could find my soul mate on Skype?  Apparently I’m looking in the wrong places!

A “Man’s” Type of Surgery (Part 2)

Background: You might remember “Tim” from my most recent post A “Man’s” Type of Surgery (Part 1)“. If not, do take a read.  Two months after that first IM session, he wrote again.  Apparently neither of us remembered the first conversation so we started again…

(blue = boy; pink = girl, black = my thoughts)

i work from home 1 or 2 days a week and love that :-). i am actually off from work until nov 28th so enjoying being home

the big Vwow, that’s awesome! why are you off for so long??

well i took some vaca days and some sick days because i had some surgery done so i am housebound for a bit in the recovery mode
oh, got it. I hope you’re ok?
At this point, this started sounding familiar, so I’m frantically searching in my email for the downloaded copy of the IM session I had sent to a friend at the time, to see if it was the same guy!
im feeling ok thanks and it was pretty routine surgery and elective thank goodness !! i guess you would call it a “mans” type of surgery !! LOL
yup, same guy!
oh yea, i remember, we spoke 2 months ago
finally went in for the big V LOL yes i had some surgery done back in september also
this is my year for getting things done LOL

My Thoughts: Really?  OMG.  Apparently this guy feels the need to share about all of his penile issues.  Either that, or he’s just trying to get me to talk about his penis with him.

My Response:  Same as Part 1 — End IM session immediately.  Block user.


A “Man’s” Type of Surgery (Part 1)

Background:  A nice guy IM’d me on Plenty of Fish, and I accepted his IM. I normally receive the IM’s, rush to check out the profile, and if he “passes”, then I click yes!  “Tim” seemed nice enough, so I accepted, and this was our conversation:

(blue=boy; pink=girl)

hello how are you?scissors
i’m good, how are you?
glad to hear it 🙂 im doing ok thanks
enjoying your day?
yes, a bit tired today, but otherwise, good!
good i am tired also. must be the weather !!
why are you tired?
i was up and down all night last night and didnt get a good nights rest
oh, that’s too bad
had some surgery done tuesday so i have not been sleeping well the past 2 nights. 
oh no! are you ok?
im feeling a little better thanks. it was pretty routine surgery and elective thank goodness !! i guess you would call it a “mans” type of surgery !!
oh, ok 🙂
i won’t ask anymore!
it is late for my age but it was for a circumcision so it takes longer to recover from than when dont to a baby boy
we guys have it so tough LOL
vey interesting
mine was actually a partial circumcision so it is not as bad as having the entire procedure done as an adult thank goodness
my Dr actually did say it has become more common now for adult men that were not cirucumcised as babies to get it done as adults
that’s surprising. 
yes it has been decreasing over the past several years since it is not necessary to be circumcised and is very painful and traumatic for the baby
but most males in our generation have been circumcised so to be uncut can make a man feel awkward
i did it for cosmetic reasons . i just always thought i had too much excess foreskin there and was self conscious about it so i finally decided to go in and have some “trimmed” off basically
got it
also it could be somewhat awkward with women the way it was before because most here in the US have never seen an unciucmcised man before
have you ever seen it or encountered a man that was not circumcised?
wow interesting. you are not the norm thats for sure !!
was it in photos or in person?
My Thoughts: WTF, seriously?  Is this appropriate conversation for a 1st IM session?? I asked “are you ok?” the way I did, so he could share or not share.  Apparently he was dying to share about his new “assets” (or lack thereof).  And, didn’t pick up on my one word answers.
My Response: End IM session immediately.
Note: See Part 2 for the next part of this saga!