Tape Measure

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This is one of my favorite dating stories.  I am an over 6 foot tall Jewish man (not a lot of us out there).  A woman that I was chatting with on Jdate did not believe I was over 6 feet tall and tells me that all men lie about their height.   I understood that, if you were a man at 5’7 or so.   She asked me if it would be ok if she brought a tape measure to the date to measure my height.  I thought – a little bizarre – but – why did I care?  We get together for dinner and one of the first things she does is take out the tape measure and measures me penis measurement– I pass the height test.  The night goes on, we are having a good time, I am thinking to myself – nice, friendly, good looking, charitable, etc and then comes the awkward part of the date.   The question after – what do you do for work, family, travel, etc was “WHAT IS YOUR SHOE SIZE?”

I answered her question “Size 15” and after that, I felt like she was looking at me as a piece of meat.

After talking about other things for a while she comes back to the shoe size thing again. The next questions are priceless – “Can I measure your feet?” – OK and the BIG question (lol) “Can I measure your…”

I think that most men would find this flattering and thinking…wow…I am getting lucky tonight.  That question quickly ended the date.   I paid for dinner and went home.

I have run into this woman at events and we do not talk – she looks at me, she looks at my feet, she looks at my groin, smiles and walks away.


See You at Dunkin’

Background: I had been writing back and forth on Jdate with “Moishe” for a couple of weeks, and he FINALLY asked me out!  I said yes, and then we started talking details.dunkin donuts

He emailed..

“wanna meet for a coffee and chat and then if we click maybe we can hang out somewhere

if you would like that Dunkin donuts in natick is good”

(He lives in Framingham, which is 5 minutes from Natick.  I live in Brookline, 45 minutes away.)

My Thoughts:  Sure, the location that’s closest to YOUR house, and NOWHERE near me? How about you come to meet me?  Or, even half way?  Chivalry is NOT dead!

And, Dunkin’ Donuts?  I love you, Dunkin’, but you’re not a great atmosphere for a date.  It IS a down economy, but maybe splurge on Starbucks?  I know, I’m asking a lot.  There are usually Starbucks on every corner — here’s a map if you need help locating one.  🙂

My Response: “I’m really sorry, but I’m feeling sick today, so won’t be able to get together. I’ll let you know when I’m better and can get together.”

(By the way, while I was searching for an image for this post, I came across this photo.  Maybe he thought this was me?  Well, THAT would explain his desire for Dunkin!)

dunkin nudie