Round 2 with Mr. White Pants

If you haven’t read the “White Pants” post from a few months ago, do take a read, as this is the followup from what happened today!

(blue = boy; pink = girl, black = my thoughts)

He emailed me on POF

Hey there……still looking? (My profile name has “buscando” in it which is searching/looking in Spanish)
yup! :-)
It’s too bad guys don’t know how to assert themselves
Can you refresh my memory… I know we emailed, but don’t remember where it went from there!
Huh, I guess you must email alot of guys on dating sites???
Not especially! But, this site tends to be a lot that don’t go anywhere. So, I sometimes forget! (And, the POF mail search is non-existant)
How about we start fresh from this point forward, and do drinks at Capital Grill later.
I figured we had just lost touch or something, so continued…
OK! I’ll be coming from a wedding shower, so can meet you after, at around 6:30.
Ok. I will buy the drinks and pay the tip
That’s strange… I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone specify before the date if he’s going to no tipbe paying or not.  Not to mention detailing out about the tip.  Then, he must have realized he made a mistake in what he said, so he corrected…
U pay the tip
And, then it hit me that he was Mr. White Pants! So, I quickly searched through my text messages to find his name!
It’s David right?
Not soo forgetfull anymore are we?
Nope, now i remember everything. So, I won’t be meeting you.
Classy

My Thoughts:  Actually, it WAS classy of me!  I could have not said anything, and left you waiting there for me!  But, do you REALLY want to get into talking about what’s classy?  Telling me you fantasized about me while having sex with someone else — let’s see… is THAT classy?  Um, NOPE.  And, that you’re going to buy my drink but not pay for the tip — is THAT classy? NOPE it’s not!

My Response: Block user. No more mishaps with Mr. White Pants.

The 15 Minute Date

This guy actually started out pretty promising!  Here was his 1st email to me:

(blue = boy; pink = girl, black = my thoughts)

I noticed you were looking for some specifics in your profile and just thought I should get back to you.

1. Active and adventurous in spirit? Check!
2. Open, honest, fun, open to doing new things? Check!
3. Funny, intelligent, like the outdoors (not too crunchy)? Check!
4. Supportive, motivated, good listener, a get-up-and-go person? Check!
5. Someone who can plan, take care of someone every now and then? Check!
(also – I’m completely open to your requirement to having a Jewish home)

I have 43 things I am looking for in a parter. Someone who is adventurous is pretty high on my list and your charity bike ride sounds like a real adventure.

Would you be willing to complete my application? ;P

Wow!  First of all, he actually read my profile! (Just as an FYI, I didn’t list out all the items like that in my profile, but he combed through my essay and picked them out).  Big points there.  And, he seemed to meet what I’m looking for!

I was so excited when I got his email, that I actually IM’d him back instead of emailing.  I don’t think I’ve ever done that actually.  I really wished I kept a copy of the IM session, but here’s the gist:

Thanks so much for writing and taking the time to read through my profile! 

You’re welcome!

So, you are looking for 43 things in a woman? (I sort of assumed he was kidding about there actually being 43).  What are your top 3?

1. Someone caringNon-sensible shoes

2. Someone with a sense of style

3. Someone who likes to travel

Someone with a sense of style?  What do you mean by that?

I like women who like to be fashionable.  For example women who wear non-sensible shoes.

Really? Really, meaning “this is in your top 3 things”??  But, IM is tough, and it’s possible he’s being sarcastic.  I really didn’t know what the deal was!  But, still… potential Bad Sign #1

The rest of the conversation was totally normal, and we made plans to meet. I really prefer coffee or a drink as a first date, to minimize the time spent if it’s not right. And, I find that most guys do too, especially since they’re usually the ones paying.  But, he suggested dinner, so I said OK!

I showed up, and he was already sitting at the table.  He didn’t stand up to greet me, or even shake my hand.  Bad sign #2.  Then for the next 10 minutes, I sat there sweating because I had just walked from home and was still hot. He made no effort to get the waitress for me to order a drink (he had gotten there early, so already had a drink and a water). Bad sign #3.  During that 10 minutes, and after my drink finally came, the conversation was a total strain.

How is your week going so far?  Good. Did you do anything exciting?  Not really.

Have you been here before? No. Do you come to Brookline much? Sometimes.

He was just VERY awkward, and seemed like he was missing some social skills, including his bizarre stare. I was really dreading the next hour-plus that I’d be sitting there eating dinner with this guy. And, decided to do something I’ve never done before. I ended the date before we even ordered the food!

I decided that I’d rather do it quickly, rather than waste both of our time and money.

I know this is going to sound bad, but I know myself really well, and I just don’t see that we’re a good fit. And I don’t want to waste your time or money. So, I’d prefer to just end the date now.  

I put down $5 for the soda and left.

Poor guy. I know it must have sucked to hear that.  But, my guess is he was probably feeling the same thing.  And, hopefully was happy to know now, instead of after paying $50 for dinner, and wasting an evening.

What do you think of my decision to leave the date? Have you ever done that?  Or had that done to you?

Don’t Call Me Rach, But Text Me!

Background: Below is my first correspondence with “Jonah” from Plenty of Fish

(blue = boypink = girl, black = my thoughts)

A lot of people think I am Jew (my name is Jonah and I grew up in the Riverdale section of the Bronx, like [town] if you don’t know NYC)… how are you?
-Jonah

He’s referring to the “Jewish” in my profile.

Hi Jonah! Yes, many Jonah’s are Jewish, that’s true. It’s also one of my favorite names :-)
I’m good! I just got back from a long vacation to India and Nepal. Trip of a lifetime.
Are you having a good weekend?hello my name is
-Rachel- (yes, a very Jewish name!)

Notice my use of “Rachel”

Let’s meet, Rach. For coffee this morning ? 8, 9, 10 ?
Let me knows.

Why is it OK to just shorten my name without asking me?  Especially for a name that’s not shortened the majority of the time, like Jonathan to Jon.  Ask first. But, probably not before I even meet you!

Hi – Sorry today wasn’t a good day. How about another time this week? What works for you? Tues pm?
-Rachel-

Again, notice my use of “Rachel”don't text me

Rach. Text me 212-555-1212
Can’t we write more in email? :-)

Or, said differently, “I don’t want to text you”. And, why so demanding?!?  Asking will probably get you further in life!

Sure we can do whatever you like ! I just figure it’s better to just meet, even if just for a few minutes. So much better than e-mail, no ? ttys 
Ok so let’s meet! When? :-)
Today ! Where are you during the day ? Just text it’s easier… 😉

See above… didn’t I say I didn’t want to text?  And, didn’t he just say “sure, whatever you like”?

Can’t today, how about tuesday night?
Done ! Text me and we’ll set it up !

Again with the texting?

Great! What time? Where? I’m in [town].
5:00? Meet at the T and we can decide from there. Is that easy enough for you ? Where are you going to be coming from ?

My Thoughts: I just think it’s rude to assume you can shorten someone’s name without asking!  Particularly when you don’t even know each other.  And, particularly for a name like Rachel — it’s not like it’s shortened the majority of the time, like Jon or Jeff!

Also, I have to say, requesting that we email instead of text isn’t that big of a request.  If you can’t accommodate my needs of something so simple and clear, I’m honestly not sure how you’re going to accommodate any more difficult needs in our future relationship!  :-)

Men switching from email to text is so common these days, and I am not a fan.  I text all the time, but don’t use it as a way to get to know someone!

My Response: We did end up going out, and it was pretty much a disaster. It ended with me walking out before the bill was even paid. I have NEVER done that before!  Take care, Jonah. And, please DON’T text me. -Rach-

 

Lacy Thong

Background: After communicating with “Jeff” for a few weeks on Plenty of Fish, I noticed this on his profile.

lacy thong interests

He must have added it and the other odd response (“what they make me feel pretty”),lacy thong
because I’m guessing I would have noticed both the first time!  So, just to confirm he wasn’t hacked, I asked…

lacy thong

My Thoughts: Um, no. Is that a “must-have” in your relationships, or can you be flexible on that?

My Response: See ya!

u luk awsum in d pics

Background: I got this email from a guy on Plenty of Fish. shortbus

wow…amazing pics..u got really nice pics….i mean u luk awsum in d pics.
i really want to b ur friend
my name is “Bob”

My Thoughts:  Reeelie? Me tink u nede mor skool.

P.S. First impressions DO matter!

My Response: Delete!

Body Builder

Enough said

body builder

A “Man’s” Type of Surgery (Part 2)

Background: You might remember “Tim” from my most recent post A “Man’s” Type of Surgery (Part 1)“. If not, do take a read.  Two months after that first IM session, he wrote again.  Apparently neither of us remembered the first conversation so we started again…

(blue = boy; pink = girl, black = my thoughts)

i work from home 1 or 2 days a week and love that :-). i am actually off from work until nov 28th so enjoying being home

the big Vwow, that’s awesome! why are you off for so long??

well i took some vaca days and some sick days because i had some surgery done so i am housebound for a bit in the recovery mode
oh, got it. I hope you’re ok?
At this point, this started sounding familiar, so I’m frantically searching in my email for the downloaded copy of the IM session I had sent to a friend at the time, to see if it was the same guy!
im feeling ok thanks and it was pretty routine surgery and elective thank goodness !! i guess you would call it a “mans” type of surgery !! LOL
yup, same guy!
oh yea, i remember, we spoke 2 months ago
finally went in for the big V LOL yes i had some surgery done back in september also
this is my year for getting things done LOL

My Thoughts: Really?  OMG.  Apparently this guy feels the need to share about all of his penile issues.  Either that, or he’s just trying to get me to talk about his penis with him.

My Response:  Same as Part 1 — End IM session immediately.  Block user.

 

A “Man’s” Type of Surgery (Part 1)

Background:  A nice guy IM’d me on Plenty of Fish, and I accepted his IM. I normally receive the IM’s, rush to check out the profile, and if he “passes”, then I click yes!  “Tim” seemed nice enough, so I accepted, and this was our conversation:

(blue=boy; pink=girl)

hello how are you?scissors
i’m good, how are you?
glad to hear it :-) im doing ok thanks
enjoying your day?
yes, a bit tired today, but otherwise, good!
good i am tired also. must be the weather !!
why are you tired?
i was up and down all night last night and didnt get a good nights rest
oh, that’s too bad
had some surgery done tuesday so i have not been sleeping well the past 2 nights. 
oh no! are you ok?
im feeling a little better thanks. it was pretty routine surgery and elective thank goodness !! i guess you would call it a “mans” type of surgery !!
oh, ok :-)
i won’t ask anymore!
it is late for my age but it was for a circumcision so it takes longer to recover from than when dont to a baby boy
we guys have it so tough LOL
really??
yes
vey interesting
mine was actually a partial circumcision so it is not as bad as having the entire procedure done as an adult thank goodness
my Dr actually did say it has become more common now for adult men that were not cirucumcised as babies to get it done as adults
that’s surprising. 
yes it has been decreasing over the past several years since it is not necessary to be circumcised and is very painful and traumatic for the baby
but most males in our generation have been circumcised so to be uncut can make a man feel awkward
right
i did it for cosmetic reasons . i just always thought i had too much excess foreskin there and was self conscious about it so i finally decided to go in and have some “trimmed” off basically
got it
also it could be somewhat awkward with women the way it was before because most here in the US have never seen an unciucmcised man before
true
have you ever seen it or encountered a man that was not circumcised?
yes
wow interesting. you are not the norm thats for sure !!
was it in photos or in person?
My Thoughts: WTF, seriously?  Is this appropriate conversation for a 1st IM session?? I asked “are you ok?” the way I did, so he could share or not share.  Apparently he was dying to share about his new “assets” (or lack thereof).  And, didn’t pick up on my one word answers.
My Response: End IM session immediately.
Note: See Part 2 for the next part of this saga!

White Pants

Background: “David” and I emailed a few times on Plenty of Fish.  He asked me out on a date, and asked for my number to coordinate.  This is what happened next (David is in grey, I’m in green):

white pants

white pants

My Thoughts: Are you kidding me?  It wasn’t bad enough to tell me you were fantasizing, but I have to know it’s with another woman?

And, yes, at some point I knew where this was headed. But, I figured if this is how he is, I’d rather know it now!

My Response: Delete!

Update: I encountered Mr. White Pants again… take a read of the post: Round 2 with Mr. White Pants