Background: Below is my first correspondence with “Jonah” from Plenty of Fish
(blue = boy; pink = girl, black = my thoughts)
A lot of people think I am Jew (my name is Jonah and I grew up in the Riverdale section of the Bronx, like [town] if you don’t know NYC)… how are you?
He’s referring to the “Jewish” in my profile.
Hi Jonah! Yes, many Jonah’s are Jewish, that’s true. It’s also one of my favorite names
I’m good! I just got back from a long vacation to India and Nepal. Trip of a lifetime.
Are you having a good weekend?
-Rachel- (yes, a very Jewish name!)
Notice my use of “Rachel”
Let’s meet, Rach. For coffee this morning ? 8, 9, 10 ?
Let me knows.
Why is it OK to just shorten my name without asking me? Especially for a name that’s not shortened the majority of the time, like Jonathan to Jon. Ask first. But, probably not before I even meet you!
Hi – Sorry today wasn’t a good day. How about another time this week? What works for you? Tues pm?
Rach. Text me 212-555-1212
Can’t we write more in email?
Or, said differently, “I don’t want to text you”. And, why so demanding?!? Asking will probably get you further in life!
Sure we can do whatever you like ! I just figure it’s better to just meet, even if just for a few minutes. So much better than e-mail, no ? ttys
Ok so let’s meet! When?
Today ! Where are you during the day ? Just text it’s easier… 😉
See above… didn’t I say I didn’t want to text? And, didn’t he just say “sure, whatever you like”?
Can’t today, how about tuesday night?
Done ! Text me and we’ll set it up !
Again with the texting?
Great! What time? Where? I’m in [town].
5:00? Meet at the T and we can decide from there. Is that easy enough for you ? Where are you going to be coming from ?
My Thoughts: I just think it’s rude to assume you can shorten someone’s name without asking! Particularly when you don’t even know each other. And, particularly for a name like Rachel — it’s not like it’s shortened the majority of the time, like Jon or Jeff!
Also, I have to say, requesting that we email instead of text isn’t that big of a request. If you can’t accommodate my needs of something so simple and clear, I’m honestly not sure how you’re going to accommodate any more difficult needs in our future relationship!
Men switching from email to text is so common these days, and I am not a fan. I text all the time, but don’t use it as a way to get to know someone!
My Response: We did end up going out, and it was pretty much a disaster. It ended with me walking out before the bill was even paid. I have NEVER done that before! Take care, Jonah. And, please DON’T text me. -Rach-